A Guide For Parents & Guardians
When it comes to self-control, children always seem to have a tough time grasping the concept and the skills required to restrain themselves. And for parents, this can be one of the hardest concepts and skills to teach. When it comes to parenting, you can only do so much. As parents, our goal is to instill a conceptual understanding of self-control within our children, and show them some useful skills along the way, so that they can learn on their own just how to harness their self-control.
And while that may sound a bit daunting, we have good news; we have quite a few strategies for you to help teach your children self-control!
Here’s a guide for parents & guardians on how to teach self-control:
Always Provide A Break
A break in any activity is always crucial to ensuring that a child doesn’t become frustrated or angry from “information overload.” By simply allowing a child to take a brief, 5 to 10 minute break during an activity that they begin to feel frustrated or challenged by, you can instill in them a strong habit that will help to teach self-control.
Rewards
Rewarding is also crucial to ensuring that your child understands the type of behavior that is expected in certain situations. Rewarding positive self-control would be a great place to start. Children love praise, and they are often motivated by it. When your child exhibits even the slightest amount of self-control, be sure to reward it appropriately.
Teach Your Child How To Talk About Their Feelings
While this may sound easier said than done, it can prove to be a useful concept for them to help understand their ability to self-control their emotions and their behaviors. If your child can accurately describe how a given event, situation, or presence makes them feel, they are inherently becoming more in tune with their own emotions. In addition, it could serve as the perfect way for you to fully understand your child’s triggers, so that you can be better prepared to offer them guidance on how to exhibit strong self-control.
For instance, if your child is feeling angry, you can point out facial features, bodily gestures, and even emotional responses:
- Recognize Your Feelings (face is red, hands are clenched, tears are flowing.).
- Count To 10.
- Think About Your Options:
- Walk Away
- Take Deep Breaths
- Calmly Explain Your Feelings
- Act!
This simple 4-step process will help a child conceptualize exactly why they’re feeling angry, how they’re displaying these emotions outwardly, a range of options for action, and the ability to choose the best action and run with it.
And without going into greater detail, the child can inherently learn to utilize this same step in similar situations and for similar emotions and feelings. At the end of the day, it’s all about the child’s ability to understand how they’re feeling and why they’re feeling a certain way. From that understanding will come their ability to exhibit a stronger sense of self-control.